Thoughts

I am not happy. This is a realization that has hit me a few days ago. I miss college. The way things were: he way I could just walk a block and be at a bar full of people my age. The way I could walk a few blocks and be at a friend's house for some coffee. The way how the first thing you do when waking up on a Saturday morning it to say hi to the girl sleeping next to you and attempt to remember her name. The way you always swore off drinking, and yet ended up in the bar the very next night. They way you'd go singing through the streets with your friends, and be drunk enough to find the USSR Anthem an acceptable song to sing aloud at 3 AM. The way that if you were depressed, you could call one of many friends who lived nearby, and go for a jog, or have some tea, or just sit and talk about life.

I had a job offer, that would have allowed me to stay on campus, work in Champaign, and enjoy all these benefits of college life. I made the right choice my instead taking a job in California. The correctness of this choice will become apparent in two or three years, but until then I am doomed to spend nights like this one unable to sleep, reminiscing, and being sad.

You know that guy at the bar? The thirty-something-year-old guy who is clearly not a college student, but still hangs out at the bar. The one who everyone thinks is creepy, and nobody knows why he does it. I think that now I get him. These three years of college have been amazing, and now that I am done with them, I just do not know what to do, and where to turn for excitement and happiness. After all the crazy nights at the bar, all the crazy parties, and even the nights spent studying useless facts life seems dull. Adults (as I guess I get to be called now, that I am no longer in college) do not go drinking randomly every weekend, and do not get drunk, do not sing aloud outside, and rarely wake up in other people's beds.

I do not know how I shall get used to this new dull life, and so far I am quite lost as to what is so fun and exciting about it. But now, more than ever, I understand what every college kid has heard everyone tell them: "college years are the best of your life." I want all that back. I want to go out drinking randomly, I want to live within walking distance of all my friends, I want to go back to college!